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Getting Organized

Consistency, stability, and order are valuable and critical characteristics of success in most settings, but especially in school. For a person with attention or learning problems there is often an internal lack of order, a general sense of confusion, and an overall lack of "sequence" and "timing" that seems to be built into some others. These students seem to march to a different beat. To compensate for this internal randomness, the student needs to develop a clear external system of strategies to get his/her world in order. Here are some ways that parents can help them establish this structure:

*PATTERNS*

Be as consistent and predictable as possible in daily family life, live with patterns the child can count on (meals, time to do homework, time for breaks, time mom is available to help, etc.)

Have family or individual calendars that are clearly marked with times and events that the student needs to know about... Color coding a calendar is helpful (sports practices/games in red, orthodontist appointments in blue, scout meetings green, etc.)

Be clear on your expectations (don't expect your child to read your mind just because the trash can is full)......

Make chore charts and stick to them! Writing down a short list of expected chores on a 3x5 card and posting them on the refrigerator takes the "emotional angst" out of personally reminding them over and over out loud.

Clearly establish limits, boundaries, and clear consequences for house rules about going to friend's, bedtime, television, computer, instant messaging, etc. and be consistent in following them ........ no need for lengthy "lawyer-like" discussions on what's fair, you really do know what's best, and these are the basis for your child's future internal organization!

* PLACES *

Have a clear place:

• for your child to put his bookbag and lunchbox
•  where your child can get school supplies (keep extra paper, pens and pencils, a few poster boards, a dictionary, etc.)
• where your child should write down any supplies he/she needs that you have to buy (list with pen on the fridge?)
• where your child can do homework ....(some work best on a dining room table away from the distractions of a bedroom)
• within their bookbag that you help them determine where each item will be put
• where bomework-to-be-done is put as well as a place for the completed homework to be put .... this can be in a separate colored pocket folder in the bookbag or in a specific (labeled) place within each subject notebook ..... especially that Agenda!

Help them by having a weekly "Backpack Blowout" where the student's part is to take everything out and put each loose paper into its proper notebook, throw away trash, old yogurt, etc. and the parent's job is to observe and ask questions to help the child determine where each thing goes ...... for example: "Is that a Social Studies map? Which notebook should it go in?", and then "Which tab should you put it behind to help you find it later?" Don't be tempted to take over this job for them since they will act like this is the hardest, most tedious thing on earth you're asking them to do!! ....... it IS hard for them (remember, internal organization is really not there yet), but they have to do it!

Write this backpack cleanout session on their calendar or in their agenda every Friday or convenient day for you.

*PREPARATIONS *

• keep some blank paper and an extra pencil stuck into each subject notebook
• prepare your child for changes in your family schedule or for what is happening "next", some kids don't shift activities easily and need this warning time
• model your own to-do lists and help them make their own "after-school" schedule or color-coded calendar, or use the bottom portion of their agenda
• help them prioritize what is really important by number ordering their lists and then really doing them in that order, this helps them feel more in control and less overwhelmed.
• check that they are using their school agenda and if not, enlist the help of the teachers!
• when you see that they have a long-term project, or large test to study for... help them by using the "elephant Technique" (How do you eat an elephant? ONE BITE at a time!)...
• Create a "Work plan" to help them break down the project or studying into steps with reasonable goal dates for each step (remember to figure in extracurricular commitments when setting these dates)

******************************************************************************************

Work Plan

Test/Project/Report:____________________________________

Final Due Date:________________________

Number of days between now and the due date:____________

STEPS NEEDED TO COMPLETE THE PROJECT, REPORT, OR TO BE READY FOR THE TEST:

Step                                                                      Date to do this by:


1._______________________________________________ __________________

2._______________________________________________ __________________

3._______________________________________________ __________________

4._______________________________________________ __________________

5._______________________________________________ __________________

******************************************************************************************

* PRAISE *

• Be sure to "catch" your wonderful children as they attempt ANY form of organizing behavior and give them sincere praise! This behavior is a WORK IN PROGRESS and needs lots of ENCOURAGEMENT!
• Be specific to the task you see them doing because they may not see the connection if you just say, "That's great!" Instead say, "Hey, I see that you completely filled in your agenda today", or "It's good to see you putting your completed homework into that pocket so you can find it in class tomorrow", etc.
• Write them a note thanking them for "not forgetting" to ask you for pizza money or for remembering to do their chores that day, or whatever behaviors you have been working on. Leave it on their pillow where they will be settling down, more focused and it will "sink in" more that these are the types of behaviors you appreciate.
• Don't take signs of improvement for granted. One week that bookbag may look pretty good, the next week it will look like a typhoon went through it.
• Keep up the encouragement and the consistency from your end! Your child is more than the mass of papers in the bookbag.